2008: Wow. I'll admit to being brain dead about what it's like to be a parent of a baby again. Not that I am the baby's parent, but I'm there to help. When Margaret...nicknamed Meg, Meggie and Megalicious is in residence, all else stops. I knew that right? No. I am sure that some forgetful hormones take over when one is a parent and you do what you need to do and do it lovingly. Actually I can hear and see in my daughter's voice and face the joy she takes in every little move Meg makes. Four months ago she called to tell me that Meg repeated Yum Yum when being fed her puried peas. Three months ago Meg initiated the military crawl which was reason to get out the horns and hats. But wait, she's crawling..now walking and she's one year old. Where did the time go? How did my baby get old enough to have a baby? Trying to maintain a semblence of the life you have come to regard as "normal" and also being responsive to being the GlamMa, which means first and foremost being there to help your own children as they experience this magic, and second, to maintain your sense of self and not get lost in the journey. Being GlamMa is something like being Cinderella's Fairy Godmother and Glinda, the Good Witch. In other words, it's magic in its own right.
Glam-Ma's Summary of the first year.
Month One: 
This is the time for Glam-Ma and Grandpa to drink lots of caffeine in order to help the new parents get some small amounts of sleep. The baby looks and acts as if she/he were still in the womb and seems like such a fragile little being that it is terrifying just picking her up. Of course you can't express that fear to the new Mom or Dad because they would never let you hold the baby again. I now know why new parents need to be sleep deprived because if they really thought about the baby they would freak out from the responsiblity of it all. I used every bit of transendental meditation training I had received from the Maharishi in order to look calm. Luckily I had retained the muscle memory of how to carry the baby so that her head didn't wobble. I had to learn how to swaddle and position the baby on her back in the crib. The best part of this month however is the eye contact your glam child will make with you. Be still my heart.
Month Two: When your peaches and cream complexioned glambaby suddenly sports zits, don't panic. This phase will pass and the peaches will return.
If not, a quick visit to the pediatrician will help solve the problem. And while fretting over those blotches you just might hear the first real coo. It's real, your glam-baby is starting to communicate with you. Coo, sing and make silly noises with her. If you think she's smiling, she probably is. Make sure she has a mobile with strong patterns and colors and by all means play music. It's proven to help develop the brain. There are lots of great tapes out there but my favorites were the Baby Einstein Lullaby Classics and Baby Mozart . And when you hear your children talk about tummy time understand it's all part of the new (since our childrearing time) method of having babies sleep on their backs. Because of this, babies need to exercise the other muscles that are associated with being on their stomachs....lifting up their heads and supporting themselves on their arms which is essential for crawling.
Month Three: Into the light: The baby is now an infant with an ever growing battery of skills and noises. Being a glam-mother, I felt it my duty to teach Meg how to blow a rasberry. My daughter shook her head and said, "I can just imagine what else you will teach her." If she knew, I'd be banned.
Month Four: In our case this was October and Halloween time. Since I remembered all the fights Lauren and I had over the years about costume choices, I suggested to Lauren that she pick the most ridiculous ones nowbecause it might be the last chance she has. I'm sure next year Meg will want to be an angel or fairy or princess. She'll probably want to be that until she turns ten and get's into "hip" music. Lauren took my advice and put her in a peapod body suit & then a pumpkin suit. I can't believe the poor baby didn't cry. At this point the parents are having all the fun laughing at what they can get away with. I didn't have the heart to tell them, it will come back to haunt them....somewhere around 15.
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Month Five: November and Thanksgiving and drooling. Meg and Daisy (our labrador retriever) looked very similar at the Thanksgiving table only Meg was teething and Daisy was begging for food. Meg had all the problems a teething baby could have with fever, diarrhea and biting. One night she chomped down so hard on her Mom's breast I thought she would draw blood. Breast feeding might be in danger. Lauren's generation of Mother's are so wonderfully natural in their approach to feeding. I keep telling her she is a much better mother than I was. I did last six months however.
Month Six: Christmas is my favorite, very favorite time of year. With a new baby it was even more special. Although she didn't like Santa at all and screamed bloody murder when we tried to sit her on his lap for a photo, she loved all the lights and exercised her ahhhh gooo vowels at each new wonder. She was sitting up too, so the world became a new and exciting place. The best part, however was taking her shopping. I could finally explain what wonders she and I would find in my favorite store, Chanel. Being a GlamMa means being properly outfitted of course. I think she liked the idea.
Month Seven: January is normally a down time, but we took Meg on her first trip to Hilton Head. She flew on a plane and true to her GlamMa's heart, loved every minute of it. She and I will have so much fun traveling together.
Month Eight: My Valentine baby is seriously on the move. She loves her saucer that spins when she moves her legs. She can run full tilt and giggles the whole time. She has also "finally" been allowed real food. Yikes, everyone is soooo scared of allergies these days that the poor kids have to eat pablum forever. She's also saying Da-Da and refuses to say Ma-Ma. Hmmmmm. We have to have a talk. I'm waiting for her to say Gigi...that's my name.
Month Nine: Meg is such a little person now. She loves her stuffed toys and just about anything else. Were my kids this brilliant? She continues to say Da-Da and just points to Lauren. She is a little devil! She even smirks when she does it! Lauren has safeguarded the house and it looks a little like Sing Sing. How did my kids make it this far?
Month Ten: She is standing while holding on, loves peekaboo and has learned to clap her hands in delight. She understands so much and tries to communicate then gets frustrated when we don't understand. Lauren has taught her a few signs...like up which she does all the time. How frustrating to be trapped in that little body. Why can't babies talk earlier?
Month Eleven: Margaret loves her books and will sit for a long time looking at pictures. I think that's a good sign she's not ADD. Whew! It is amazing how many problems you can imagine now that you have time on your hands. When it's your child there is no time. Now I just watch and worry...and keep my mouth shut of course. Does she show signs of autism, will the vaccinations hurt her. Will not vaccinating her hurt her. TOO MUCH INFO leads to GERD...otherwise known as a very non Glam form of indigestion caused by worry, too much chocolate and not enough sleep...well not quite, but some of that is true.
Month Twelve: Meg and I spend hours playing with her barnyard toys while she practiced moo and I practiced baa and do all the other animal sounds. Did I tell you she is brilliant?
Month Thirteen: On our trip to Nantucket she got up and walked. Well, more of a lurch and forward stumble then fall. Now she holds two hands and wants to walk everywhere. Did I tell you she is talented and brilliant?
Pre Planning Tips
At the end of Lauren's pregnancy...when we knew the baby was viable I let out a long sigh. ew. I didn't know I had been holding my breath until now, but I had. Not being in control is a frightening thing for someone who has always been at the helm of the ship, steering everyone's course. Now I'm a lowly deckhand, marching to a new captain... my daughter. It's her turn to be captain of the ship. Well at least her ship... I've still got my husband and dog to order around.
Daisy doesn't look too pushable does she? Neither is my husband. I promised not to post a similar picture of him on the couch with his favorite stuffed animal.
So what have I done to prepare, and what would I suggest for you?
First and foremost: Pack a bag for the trip. Unlike the bag your daugher or daughter-in-law is packing for the hospital, yours must contain the essentials of staying fit and hydrated through sleepless nights, strange beds, and fast food. Hospital food qualifies somewhere between a Micky D burger and the good old fashion lard muffins my Grandmother loved to bake. If you want to go home a size larger, enjoy. If not, pack those Balance Bars.
I made a trip to my daughter's home last week with a load of supplies.
1.) Makeup in a carry bag that would fit under her guest room bed. Even if I had to change places with other guests, my makeup would remain. Thank you TSA for not understanding that a good face cream can not be mushed into a 2 oz jar.
2.) Comfy shoes. Need I say more?
3.) One pair of nice heels. At some point in the first month you will insist that your daughter/daughter in law and son get out of the house with you and sit in a nice restaurant where waiters ask nicely what you would like to drink, there is no burpy cloth on your shoulder and the eyes in the back of your head are allowed to take a rest. Remember those days. It wasn't fun.
4.) Exercise clothing. These will be your staples when babysitting the first few weeks.
5.) Good books or books on tape.
6.) Your I Pod programmed with soothing music to sleep by.
7: A sense of humor and tissues for when you cry at how amazing your grandbaby is.
If not, a quick visit to the pediatrician will help solve the problem. And while fretting over those blotches you just might hear the first real coo. It's real, your glam-baby is starting to communicate with you. Coo, sing and make silly noises with her. If you think she's smiling, she probably is. Make sure she has a mobile with strong patterns and colors and by all means play music. It's proven to help develop the brain. There are lots of great tapes out there but my favorites were the Baby Einstein Lullaby Classics and Baby Mozart . And when you hear your children talk about tummy time understand it's all part of the new (since our childrearing time) method of having babies sleep on their backs. Because of this, babies need to exercise the other muscles that are associated with being on their stomachs....lifting up their heads and supporting themselves on their arms which is essential for crawling. .jpg)
